A negative self esteem can affect your relationship in ways that you may not have even imagined. Support and affirmation in a relationship is a strong sign of love, but to rely on it for your own esteem is a mistake, and often leads to insecure behavior that can damage your partner.
You must love yourself before you can love another fully, and before you can embrace the love that they offer to you. A low self esteem could also cause you to stay with a partner who is not good for you, out of the fear that they may leave.
A high self esteem on the other hand makes for more success in relationships. By fully expressing who you are, and by respecting and loving yourself, you will have more to offer your partner, and will rely less on them for your happiness. This creates a secure environment for a joyful experience together.
If you think self esteem issues might be negatively affecting your relationship, consider contacting our highly trained and experienced relationship counsellors, to seek advice and help.
There are many ways in which self-esteem can affect a relationship, including communication, depth of relationship, limiting behaviors and views, and much more.
How Low Self Esteem Can Affect A Relationship
Gaurav suffers from a low self esteem. His sense of self worth is often low, and he finds it difficult to express himself, even with his loved ones. He stayed in his previous relationship for a long time, even when he knew that his girlfriend was not right for him. He felt like he needed her for comfort and support, even though she often treated him badly. She finally finished with him, sparing him the pain of doing it himself.
Gaurav later finds a new girlfriend, Shruti, and he is sure that this is a keeper. Shruti likes him a lot, but his lack of self esteem is causing friction in the relationship, and he risks losing his girlfriend if he continues to behave in the manner that he is doing.
Shruti finds Gaurav’s view of himself frustrating. She likes him a lot, but Gaurav does not seem to be able to accept this, and always looks to highlight his own flaws when she shows him love. He will not open up to her about his emotions, even when she can tell that he is not feeling great. She tries to tell him how she feels, but he is hyper sensitive to her attempts to discuss their relationship, even if she approaches him gently.
She feels stifled by her inability to communicate with him, and by his dreary and limiting view of himself, and the world around him. They haven’t been out in weeks because he would rather stay at home with her. She enjoys staying in with him, but finds the lack of stimulation a little disconcerting.
As tolerant as Shruti is, she becomes even more disgruntled when jealousy starts to consume Gaurav. She starts to go out with her friends more, partly due to Gaurav’s refusals to go anywhere. As trustworthy as she has always been, Gaurav is left alone, and wondering whether she might find someone else. He starts to shout at her for abandoning her. His self esteem issues are more than affecting the relationship; they are pushing it to breaking point.
Higher Self Esteem = Improved Relationships
It is simply not worth losing a relationship over your own self-esteem issues. As tolerant as your partner might be, your insecurities and lack of self worth will undoubtedly cause unnecessary friction. You should work to improve your self-esteem in order to be functional, and happy in love.
A relationship in which both you and your partner have a high esteem will lead to be fruitful and highly enjoyable. Communication will be honest and open, and you will be able to focus on the positives, and on making the most of each other; without the demands and insecurities driving a wedge between you.
For expert advice on any of your relationship issues, or if you simply want someone to talk to, please consult psychologist counsellors.